<![CDATA[Love Out Loud Collaborative - Blog]]>Wed, 06 Jan 2016 08:45:51 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[What is life coaching, and is it right for me?]]>Tue, 18 Mar 2014 19:05:30 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/what-is-life-coaching-and-is-it-right-for-mePicture
What  is Life Coaching and do I need one? 

Just about everyone has a vision of his or her ideal life. Maybe you've always
dreamed of becoming a successful writer,  musician, or corporate executive. Yet
your vision hasn't quite made the leap from your mind to reality. 



That's where a life coach steps in. Life coaches provide the incentive and direction their clients need to improve their careers, relationships, and lives. They help clients to:  
    • Hone in on their skills and ambitions
    • Refocus their life's goals
    • Overcome obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals
What is Life  coaching?
It is when an individual partners with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential!  Life coaching draws upon a variety of tools and techniques from other disciplines such as sociology, psychology, positive adult development and career counseling with an aim towards helping people identify and achieve personal goals.

Why would I need a life coach?
There are a variety of reasons that people turn to life or wellness coaches for help. For instance, you might
consider looking for a coach if you:

  • Need some guidance moving forward in your career
  • Want to learn how to best take advantage of your strengths and talents
  • Don't know what to do about a major life decision, such as a move or divorce
  • Don't have an acceptable work-life balance
  • Are overstressed
  • Are having difficulties in your relationships

What happens during the coaching process?
First, you'll sit down with your life coach or wellness coach over the phone or in person. The sessions will range from 20 minutes to an hour. During that time you'll talk about what you want to accomplish. Through the questions your coach asks, together you'll define your goals and the challenges that could stand in your way. Then you'll outline the steps you'll need to take to achieve those goals.

You'll have homework assignments -- things to think about or do between coaching sessions to work toward your goals. You might need to write in a journal or create "action plans" of things you want to accomplish.

Your life coach or wellness coach will offer support and guidance along the way. And your coach will hold you accountable for achieving your
goals.

You'll work with your coach for a period of a few
months or longer. The time frame depends on how often you meet and what you're

hoping to accomplish

About me:
I am a certified
life coach from the Life Coach Institute of Orange County (http://www.certifiedlifecoachinstitute.com/) . 



References
http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/life-and-wellness-coaches

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coaching


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<![CDATA[Four tips to make the most of your relationships…Business or Personal]]>Thu, 11 Jul 2013 12:01:25 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/four-tips-to-make-the-most-of-your-relationshipsbusiness-or-personalPicture
Have you ever realized that people who learn how to develop and maintain relationships seem to experience more success in love and business?  Relationships vary in their duration, intimacy levels, and frequency of interactions and the following four tips can help in all relationship types. 



Tip #1:  Express your needs
Needs in this context is interchangeable for expectations.  It is People are not gifted with the ability to read minds, so it is important that you let people know what you expect from the relationship in the beginning.  It is best to be the most honest when establishing a relationship, setting a tone for how you would like the rest of the relationship to continue.  Have you ever heard the saying, ask for what you want? This is true in both professional and romantic relationships.  If you are looking for payment for a service you provide, let your needs/expectations be known.  If you aren’t looking to date just for fun and what to establish a serious
commitment, let your needs/expectations be known.  

Tip #2: Let your actions match your words
This is a necessity when creating boundaries in your relationships.  Actions speak louder than words, so people will go by what you do rather than what you say.  If you are creating boundaries in a professional relationship and state to a client that you do not accept calls after 9pm, but one day call them at 10pm, your actions are not matching your words.  So make sure when you’ve expressed your needs and established your boundaries and make sure that you hold up to your side of the deal.  
 
Tip #3: Compromise
It is important when you are establishing a relationship to compromise.  I say this cautiously because if it’s in regards to your values for example spiritual beliefs, you should never compromise.  However, if you are trying to decide where to eat for dinner, or who will wash dishes tonight, or who will take a certain role in a project, compromise is necessary and a vital part in order to make the relationship work.  Ask yourself if this is a deal-breaker for you?  If you compromised on this certain issue, think about how it would make you feel? If the compromise is just a pride issue, it is better to leave pride at the door to make the relationship
thrive. Remember it’s about the team in relationships and not the individual.  


Tip #4:  Keep in contact
In professional relationships, shooting a quick email to let them know you enjoyed the conference call, or you enjoyed lunch, is a great way to establish a friendship.  Send a card on their birthday or a thank you card for the connection or help with a project.  In a blossoming romantic relationship, remain consistent. 
Many people who I coach with relationship issues biggest red flags are, “He went from calling every day to every other day to once a week.”  It is necessary to remain a constant if you want the relationship to
develop any further. Consistency is key.

 I hope you have enjoyed these four tips that can be applied in Love and Life.  Please keep in mind
  that in order for a relationship to thrive it must be built on a solid foundation.  If you express your
needs, let your actions match your words, compromise, and be consistent in
keeping in contact, your relationship will be a true
success!!


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<![CDATA[Do you know your spouse’s love language?]]>Thu, 27 Jun 2013 15:40:12 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/do-you-know-your-spouses-love-languagePicture


As a relationship coach and being in a relationship myself, I
realize that we all speak in different languages as it comes to love.  The book Five Love Languages, written by Dr. Gary Chapman addresses these love languages in depth, I have included a very small snippet of what each love language means...
 
 


I believe it is important that we make an effort to speak in a way that our spouse can appreciate that we not only want our needs to be met, but we are making a conscious effort to meet their needs as well.  

There are five love languages in which book by Dr. Gary Chapman addresses:  Words of affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and
Physical Touch.

Words of affirmation:
This person likes to be praised and encouraged.  They like to be told that you love them and that you think that they are beautiful, smart, amazing, “the best lover ever.” J

Quality Time:
This person just wants to spend time with you.  This isn’t just going to the movies, but focused attention with quality conversation, eye contact, and real listening.

Receiving Gifts:
These people are more focused on the thought behind the gift.  These gifts are more visual symbols of love and can be simple, inexpensive, and even handmade.

Acts of Service:
These people like to be served.  They like to be shown that you love them, so give them a massage, wash
their car, iron their clothes.  This will speak volumes to them.

Physical Touch:
These people like to be touched.  Hugging, Kissing, and being caressed…

People may have one that is prominent to their love language and some people may have a couple who speak to their love language.  
  
To learn more about love languages and to take a test to find out what your love language is on Dr. Gary Chapman's website, go to:  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/



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<![CDATA[From Dull to Sizzling Hot...Pt 2]]>Tue, 04 Jun 2013 14:08:49 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/from-dull-to-sizzling-hotpt-2Picture
Today I am sharing the second chapter from my free ebook: From Dull to Sizzling Hot, How to put the spice back into your relationship.  If you would  like to receive a free copy please go to the home page and enter your information! 

I hope this EBook encourages you!!


You would be surprised that a lot of couples complain about the basic grooming habits of their spouse. 
I mean it sounds silly but after you are with someone for a number of years, you get a little more than comfortable.  When you first started dating your spouse you would wear makeup, have your hair done, you would throw on some heels and a killer outfit; but after a couple of kids, a fulltime job you start to
feel as if “nobody really has time for that.”  So you go without makeup, you throw something on to go to the movies; instead of heels you go for flats (not saying there is anything wrong with flats, I love them!) 
But come on ladies, we need to spice it up from time to time.  
 
I remember a couple of years ago, I was hanging out with a girlfriend and we were talking about how often we engage in sex.   She was a newlywed and was bragging on how she and her husband were having sex every day.  I laughed and said “wow, we have sex more like once every other week.”  She then proceeded to ask me what I was wearing to bed.  When I tell you her eyes were as big as an orange when I showed her my nightgown, I still laugh just thinking about it.  You see at that time my grandmother was still buying my nightgowns (you know where this is going) and I pulled out a flannel, flowery, lacey (not in the sexy way) garment, SHE DIED LAUGHING!  She felt so bad for me that she gave me some leftover gift certificates from her bridal shower to make a trip to the nearest lingerie store.  But she said something that I will often tell my clients, “throw him a bone every once in a while ladies!!”  I understand  that we are tired, I get it, I am a mother of three, with a fulltime job, and I just finished my master’s…so I get it! But it’s worth the extra effort for your marriage. 
 
Now men, you are definitely not off the hook here.  You know those holey underwear you still hold on to since you were in undergrad?  Please let them go!  Get some nice fresh boxer shorts, maybe her favorite color!  After a shower throw on some nice cologne or shower with body wash. We like to be thrown a bone as  well. Oh, and let me not leave this out. Remember how I mentioned the
basic grooming habits, yes that includes but is not limited to, showering on a
daily basis, brushing your teeth, using expensive deodorant, keeping your hair
and face nicely trimmed.  It’s the
little things that can make a HUGE impact on the sizzle in your
relationship.


 

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<![CDATA[Managing Stress in New Relationships with Guest Blogger Shereka Dunston...]]>Wed, 22 May 2013 15:40:59 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/managing-stress-in-new-relationships-with-guest-blogger-shereka-dunstonPicture
Today we will have guest blogger:  Shereka Dunston, Stress managment coach providing insight on new relationships and stress managment! 





New relationships are exciting, yet stressful.  Taking the plunge into a new romance puts an individual in a vulnerable state, but there is nothing to fear.

 Use the following  tips to manage your new relationship stress:



  1. Stay true to yourself. Do not pretend to be someone you’re
    not to impress your new mate. Your actions, beliefs and values make you unique.
    Your true personality will show up sooner or later in the relationship, so
    there’s no need to live a lie.

  2. Accept your mate. Do not try to change your mate. Just as
    you are a unique person with valid feelings, so is the person in which you’re
    building a relationship. Respect your mate and realize that he or she does not
    have to change to impress you.

  3. Express your relationship expectations early. Do not assume that your mate knows your preferences, dislikes and non-negotiables. When you decide to make things official, you and your mate should express the boundaries and expectations each of you want for the relationship.

  4. Compromise for the good of the relationship. Do not be
    selfish and stubborn. There will be times when you and your mate agree on
    things, but there will be other times when you disagree. Refuse to think of your
    mate as an enemy, and view him or her as your partner, instead. Work together to
    find solutions for your relationship.

  5. Let things develop naturally. Do not force progression in
    your relationship. Take your time to get to know your mate and enjoy the time
    you spend together. There is no timeline for how a relationship should
    develop.

Remember that all stress is not bad. The stress from a new relationship can
be good because it makes life more interesting. The way you approach the changes
inherent in a new relationship, will help shape the bond created between you and
your mate.

To find out more information about Stress Managment Coach, Shereka Dunston...

Check out her blog: https://stressmanagementcoachshereka.wordpress.com/
&
 to connect with her, find her on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/#!/StressManagementCoachShereka?fref=ts


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<![CDATA[It's not about the money...]]>Tue, 14 May 2013 13:36:24 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/its-not-about-the-moneyPicture
In this day in age the economy is shifting and the big outlandish presents we use to get for the holidays are starting to become less of a reality.  No one is going to Zales and Kay Jewelers for Mother's Day anymore. 

Let me tell you about my mother's day!  This year my kids and husband all presented me with a card, my kids are ages one to six, but somehow, some way my husband was able to find cards that fit each individual relationship between myself and that child.  It was precious.  From there we went to church and listened to an awesome sermon.  After church we went to my parent's house and let me tell you we had a ball!!!!

My husband is an awesome cook so he was in the kitchen making parmesan crusted salmon, double stuffed sweet potatoes, and spinach.  The rest of the family, which was my mom, dad, sister, sister's boyfriend, grandmother, two daughters, son, niece, and myself were all outside.  We played t-ball, blew bubbles, and played an old school game of hopscotch.  We had the most amazing time ever!!!  When we went inside my mom made strawberry daiquiris for the mothers and we sat around and laughed about the good ole days.  It was awesome because had we went to a restaurant we would not have been to laugh and joke as much as we did. 

I share this to remind you that it's not all about the money, but instead about those special family memories you can make together.  My entire family is still talking about this, and how my 74 year old grandmother was trying to play hopscotch.  It's a day we will forever remember and goes down as the best mother's day ever!

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<![CDATA[From Dull to Sizzling Hot!]]>Thu, 09 May 2013 13:28:04 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/from-dull-to-sizzling-hotPicture
Today I am sharing the first chapter from my free ebook: From Dull to Sizzling Hot, How to put the spice back into your relationship.  If you would like to receive a free copy please go to the home page and enter your information! 

I hope this EBook encourages you!!



Excerpt:
                                                                                                                             
To really reap the benefits of this book it is necessary to commit to doing whatever it takes to take your relationship to the next level. With this commitment you can take the most estranged relationships to a brighter tomorrow.  To help you stay committed, each day when you wake up ask yourself, “What can I do today to show my spouse that I love them?”  This question will help set the tone for the mindset you must have to make these ideas actually work.  
 
If this sounds strange to you, let’s take a look at the reason why? When you first met your spouse you were head over heels for them.  It came naturally to you for you to want to please your spouse.  All you wanted to do was to see them smile.  You wanted them to know that you loved them, that you wanted to be with them, that they were the apple of your eye.  It is even more necessary now in marriage that we ensure that they know that you love them and that you care.  
 
I remember when my husband and I first started dating.  We would stay on the phone for hours.  We would stay on the phone until the other person would fall asleep or play the game “you hang up, no you
hang up, on three hang up”.  We have all been there, because in order for something to become dull, it st have been sharp at one point.  
 
So take this time to reminisce on those memories.  What did you like about your spouse then?  What do you love about your spouse now?  Think about your reasons for even wanting to access this EBook. 
These are all wonderful reasons to start now in taking your relationship to sizzling hot status!


 

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<![CDATA[The D Word...]]>Wed, 01 May 2013 13:10:05 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/the-d-wordPicture
The ugly truth is that Divorce has become what makes up over half of all American marriages.  It seems that most Americans don’t believe in those vows that they took on that blissful wedding day.  We’ve seen it on shows such as Bridezillas, Say Yes to the Dress, and other marriage shows, that how big, fancy, and nice your dress is has become a competition, rather than a lifelong commitment to someone.  Not saying all these shows are bad, but they give the wrong perception to our impressionable minds.  We have come to believe that after the big day all the effort can go out of the door… 

Today I will be discussing the three major reasons couples seem to head for the D word instead of making the relationship work.
 
 
Number Three:  Finances!  It comes down to it’s all about the Benjamin’s!!!  The fairy tales tell you that we marry for love, but most people know that in actuality that is somewhat true.  Many people marry for security, and once that security has left the building, so have they. Let me assure you here that money comes and goes, and if you are building the foundation of your marriage on money, it will fail.  My husband and I were married young and during a declining economy.  Many times he would get a job, and since he was the last one hired, during economic pressures within the company he would be the first one fired.  This
has happened three times during our marriage.  He has a wonderful job now, but we had some tough times during those three layoffs.  The only reason it has lasted is because our foundation was not built on money.

Number Two: Communication Malfunction… Mayday Mayday the marriage ship is sinking…This was a close call for number one, and could arguably be the cause behind the effect.  The breakdown of communication is a sure sign that the marriage is heading in the wrong direction.  The top reason for people coming to me for help is this very reason. Clients will say, “He just doesn’t understand me anymore” or “I just don’t get her” or “We never talk”.  This is a huge mistake.  How can anyone come to a compromise if you aren’t communicating?  Marriage is ALL about compromising and balancing, and without communication you are missing the main ingredient to making this happen.  

Number One: Everyone knows what is coming……INFIDELITY! Yep, that’s the one.  Cheating is on every top reason for divorce list” nationwide, because it is a huge epidemic.  Infidelity according to formal terms is the violation of mutually agreed rules or boundaries that a couple assume in a relationship.  Sleeping with another man or woman is a violation of mutually agreed on boundaries.  This is where those marital vows come in to play.  Some people even said on that blissful day, “I pledge you my love and faithfulness!”

Today I shared some top reasons for divorce, and if you are dealing with any form of abuse (psychological, physical, or emotional), are having issues in child-rearing, sexual issues, or have a hard time with  compromising on expectations & priorities (which all are other reasons that lead to divorce), please seek help.  You can send me an email at tdh0823@gmail.com or go to my life coach page and book an appointment to get an idea of the different packages and programs I have, or seek the help of a pastor or marriage counselor.  If your spouse is not open to counseling, please still seek help!  Marriage is a beautiful gift, let’s cherish it!!!

Until next time ASPIRE HIGHER!!!!!!!!


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<![CDATA[It takes two...]]>Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:29:51 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/it-takes-twoPicture
I have been married for six years, and I will be the first to say that marriage is not for the faint at heart.  I was 22 when I got married to my husband, and he was 24.  We were so young and so immature.  We have had arguments, indiscretions, loss of trust, but we never lost hope.

I am a firm believer that no matter what your relationship goes through, you are able to make it work as long as both of you are willing to make it work.  Marriage isn't simple.  Think about it, most of the time it's two people who have never been married coming together to give their best shot at what they perceive marriage to be.  So of course their will be mistakes.  It's what you do with those mistakes that make the difference.

In that regard everyone should seek help.  There are multiple ways to seek help.  Seek pastoral counseling, marriage counseling, marriage coaching (which is what I do), seek help from a friend in a positive, strong marriage who is able to give you "good advice".  Emphasis on someone who has a strong marriage.  Remember that "misery loves company". 

If you do not seek help you risk losing it all.  There is no one to offer a fresh perspective on your situation.  Let's admit it, as humans we typically only see and agree with our own side.  If you have dealt with situations that have created resentment, bitterness, or lack of respect for your spouse, you will continue to feed those negative thoughts, they will begin to settle, and ring truer and truer as the days past.  Get someone to help you, talk to someone.

But as I began I will conclude...As long as you have two people who are willing to make it work, it can and will work! 

Until next time Anticipate, Self-Assure, Persist, Inspire, Reach, Evolve HIGHER!

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<![CDATA[Living on the Edge...]]>Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:05:57 GMThttp://tiffanyhamptoncoach.weebly.com/blog/living-on-the-edgePicture
What comes to your mind when you think of someone who lives on the edge?

When thinking of people who live on the edge, I think of rebels, you know the people with the big tattoos or a gazillion piercings, driving motorcycles, dropping off large mountains into huge oceans... 

I have learned something very important from these people.  These "rebels" defy what others think and feel about them.  If you are anything like me, I am a mother of three and a wife.  People don't expect for me to be a business woman, a woman taking control of her destiny.  People expect for me to stay at my good government job with my good government benefits...why settle for good when I can have GREAT!!!  I decided not to allow people to define who I should be!!!  I decided not to wait for people to give me permission to live out my dream. 

If you change the way you believe, change the way you think (which is typically the way society has programmed you to think), you can become a rebel, in the sense that you change who you are, you change what you believe, and in result you change who you become. 

Be a rebel today!!!  Look danger in the eye, look fear in the eye, and tell them that you aren't afraid of their expectations.  Don't run away from danger or risk, embrace it...

Until next time Anticipate, Self-Assure, Persist, Inspire, Reach, Evolve HIGHER!

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